How I feel talking about Japanese politics and Nova

The English school Nova is going out of business.  It hasn’t been officially declared, but I’ve been convinced of its imminent demise by the facts presented to me by trusted sources and by recent events.

I also spend a lot of time talking, reading, and writing about Japanese politics.  I’m a well-intentioned novice at best. 

Had this conversation over Skype tonight (slightly edited for coherence):

Me: Most of the Nova discussions I’ve seen don’t even glancingly touch on anything factual other than paychecks, though.
[2:35:42 AM] [My interlocutor] says: True true.
 On New Year’s Eve 2004-5, I, my brother, and two of my three Cleveland cousins made the mistake of letting my third and youngest Cleveland cousin pick the place we went.  She was 22 at the time, still an on-again-off-again undergrad and we wound up at such a place.
 What are you talking about now?

An analogy.
Bear with me.

Way out on the West side, but that’s neither here nor there (except that I was the only one who assumed a $60 quoted crosstown cab fare was one way.)
At one point, one of my baby cousin’s less-bright friends found out I lived in Japan and cornered me to tell me all about geisha, which she called “geesha girls.”
At first, I thought, “Oh great, another person who’s become an expert after reading Memoirs of a Geisha.”

But she hadn’t even done that.  She’d seen a Discovery Channel show somewhat inspired by the novel.
 Classic.
I wasn’t even responding, but she kept harping on about how I thought they were prostitutes, but they weren’t.  Even though I literally had not said a word other than to shout over her shoulder to tell my brother to order me another pint.
 Finally, I said, “Do you know what a mizuage is?”
 She didn’t, although it was the central event, as I recall, of Memoirs.
 ”Well, it was the practice of auctioning off, to the highest invited bidder (invitations being determined by the amount spent on a girl while still a maiko), the virginity of a maiko, no later than age 15, usually at somewhere between 12 and 14.
 ”Which was often prepubescence.
“After that, geisha sought to acquire a dana, or patron, or sugar daddy, who’d set them up as mistresses.
 ”How would you define prostitution?”
 What did she say?
Did she yell over her shoulder to your brother to grab her a pint?

My closing line was, “And, young lady, a camisole is underwear.  Get dressed.”

She gave me a “well. . .,” as though we were going to keep talking, at which point my oldest cousin rescued me.
So you’re saying that you’re her when you’re talking with the political analyst guys from the other sites, right?
The point of that long story is that that experience is akin to talking about Nova’s future with current Nova employees.
And akin to 90% of the conversations you’re ever going to have about Japanese politics.

Sounds about right.

The other 10% of the time, I’m just trying not to be her.

Ha ha!
I’ve noticed that between 1:30 and 4:00 a.m., if I’ve had nothing but beer and sake, I start to Skype as though writing dialogue for a mediocre indy film from the early to mid-’90s.
Could be worse.

The ratio could be reversed?
No, you could find yourself Skyping me with nothing but quotes from Bon Jovi  and Joan Jett and the Black Hearts songs.

I’ve also uttered two quotes witty enough to make me quote myself, the former over a year ago, the latter just a week ago:

This is an entire country trapped in middle school. 

and

Japanese people have to put up with a lot of stupid shit just because no one else speaks their language.

There’s pride.  The other six deadly sins are in my heart, but I don’t have many chances to act on them.

~ by One Fat Penguin on September 20, 2007.